it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
