on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
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