I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
