I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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