I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
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