Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
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