trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
