he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
