I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Omg I joined a choir last night...
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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