I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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