Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
