Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
