dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
