Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
