too bad you live with your parents still
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Randomize
