I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
