That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I haven't been this sober since birth.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
