Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Randomize
