so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
