What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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