I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
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