Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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