new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
