"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
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