White coat. Heels.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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