i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
