M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
