Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
