he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize
