My balls are so social today.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
