I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
