what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
