Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
