do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
