Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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