watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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