woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
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