some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
