Sponge bath it is.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
