Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
