he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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