You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Randomize
