lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
