would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
