you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
