IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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