Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
