yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
