Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
