I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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