So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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