you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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