but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
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