some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Randomize
