It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
