I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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