my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Randomize
