i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
