i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
