So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
