you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
