He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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