I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I feel like death gave me a hand job
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
You were trust falling into bushes
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