no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
