there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
